Some of our Zongo women and their own formed opinions and set standards

Some of our Zongo women and their own formed opinions and set standards

Growing up, I used to hear  stories about how some of our Muslim  women in the various communities  have formed their own standards of what is termed us class when it comes to the type of cloths a married woman is supposed to wear to occasions.

Trust me it was the most ridiculous thing I ever heard people say or pass comments about. I did not  grow up in the zongo settings  very much so anytime I hear  issues like these I gasp for more breath.

I hear GTP is in the middle class. As for the Deluxe and HiTargets  they are not even regarded or  classified as “Proper” cloth. How sad!

I mean who are the setters of these standards? Why won’t they live and let others also live in peace? 

In this age and time when the economy is hard, why would one allow herself to fall for this type of  broad daylight fraud and lies? Yes I call it fraud and lies because, if one can’t afford, one has to find  all means possible including having to buy on  credit to get these expensive clothes just to make a name or follow the bandwagon.

The most shocking is when I hear some women  say, "oh I have to cut off that  label of my fabric because it’s Hitarget so that people won’t know what the label is because the moment I get to the event ground, people  will be looking out for the type of cloth am wearing for the edge of my outfit so I make sure everytime, my seamstress fold it or cut it off.”

My dear sister,  whether it’s Vlisco or the other low tagged cloths  as perceived the opinionated women in our society, please wear it with all the pride in you and step out on that event grounds with full confidence. 

We allow ourselves to be treated in ways we allow them to. To hell with anyone who goes to events looking out for labels on peoples cloth.

Seriously, how did we get here as women and society?  Why do we bring unnecessary  pressure upon us? So if one is not married to a rich husband or she herself doesn’t have up to the said  amount to buy a VLISCO, so she shouldn’t attend events anymore?

I believe as humans, we shouldn’t  live to please others. The only person we are accountable to is the Almighty Allah. And first question we should always ask ourselves before succumbing to people's option and standards is; am I happy and content about thist? Can I afford this and still not go broke? should I go borrowing just to leave up to people's expectations?

These  questions and  few others have to always come to play before  we do things to please others.

Let me take you back to when my mum was preparing for marriage. As part of the preparations, you the bride to be is expected to sew some clothes. For me I still don’t understand why, the very first outfit you wear for your “budainkai” meaning first day the bride is going to be introduced to her husband’s family must be strictly VLISCO. 80% out of 100% women in the zongo community would say same and interstlingly it has come to stay. 

Why can’t it be any other fabric other than VLISCO, Super or Dutch wax? Sometimes, I wonder why I even followed this bandwagon in making my own “budainkai” outfit with the VLISCO  fabric. Meaning I fell for it too. I fell for it becaue it was my first time marrying and so most of the things being said to me to usher me into the marriage  were easily taken because I felt that the elders knew more than I did.. But please let’s not deceive  ourselves. It is not that deep. It is our own formed standards. 

Wearing Vlisco on this occasion won’t add or take away anything from your marriage. I think it will even create unnecessary  expections from you.

Don’t get it twisted. In my own case, I didn't have to go and break a “head and  and a neck” to get that fabric so it’s not even about the issue of money. My mum used to be a trader, some of the things she sold were genuine cloths VLISCO, Dutch Wax, Hollandais among others  so getting that fabric for my marriage wasn’t an issue at all. I got it without having to stress, break the buank or buy on credit.  All she had to do was bring them out from her wardrobe and the next minute they were at my seamstress’s place.

Question is, What about that other lady who also married without even wearing a GTP or had it in her marriage belongings? Does that mean her marriage wasn't  authentic? Does that also mean she is below the class? Does that mean she is less of a woman? No! She is absolutely not anything stated above. She simply wasn’t  gullible  to allow society put any formed standard on  her therefore pressuring her to fit in by force. She cut it according to her coat. She wore what she had in the name of her marriage and in the name of Almighty Allah.

Please let’s stop this unnecessary  pressure we allow society and some people put on us. Same way we shouldn’t also put pressure on others. If you can afford that expensive  fabric that’s fine,  if not just do well with what you have.

At all times, Let’s us be   content with what we have regardless the price tags and brand names.