IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTING
The elders have a saying, and it goes, “if a child is in their mother’s womb, it’s for her only but the moment it comes out, it becomes everyone’s child” literally meaning that, how you take responsibility of your own children becomes whether you like it or not becomes everyone’s concern unless it’s not a society that looks out for each other.
Agree or disagree, there are many cases where a parent or both parent are deceased and so the children must be given to the immediate family members or any other person deem as capable to to cater for them.
Other times, either a single parent or both parent are much alive but due to financial constrain they seek for help from people they can entrust them to help raise their children.
But until it’s imperative that you and I (parent) are not physically, mentally and financially incapable of raising our children, we should continue or take up the role till they grow.
But my rant in this write up is how so parents/ foster parent/ Guardian deliberately turn a blind eye to being responsible over their children.
How do you feel when you don’t bring them upright in the Deen?
How do you feel watching them go wayward right before your own eyes because you simply do not act in your role?
How do you feel watching them suffer for basic necessities when they are still under your care and concern?
Does your conscience feels good when they act obstinately uncooperative towards discipline in the society, school, work, marriage etc?
Whether you are a biological parent or not, single parent or not, The Prophet Muhammad, may the mercy and blessings of God be upon him, said:
“Each of you is a shepherd, and all of you are responsible for your flocks.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari, Saheeh Muslim)
The father MUST be shepherd over his family, to protect, provide and striving to be their role model and guide in his capacity as head of the household and the mother MUST be shepherd over the house, guarding and engendering into the wholesome, loving environment that is necessary for a happy and healthy family life. She is also the one who is primarily responsible for the children’s guidance and education.
And children MUST, “And treat your parents with kindness. If one or both of them attain old age in your care, never say to them a word (suggesting) disgust, nor reproach them, but address them with reverent speech. And humble yourself out of mercy before them, and pray: ‘My Lord! Be merciful to them for having cared for me in my childhood.’” (Quran 17:23-4)
It is every parent obligation to be morally right themselves to be able to inculcate the same in their children, if they fail to do so, they shouldn’t expect same from their children. But then again, it will always be an indictment on every parent here on earth and on judgement day if their children turn different.
Hence, God’s severe warning in His Book:
“O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones.” (Quran 66:6)
In spite of having responsibly parent, there are some children who will still behave badly or act difficult to control no matter how responsible their parents are.
Responsibly parenting doesn’t automatically guarantee a responsible child/ children and vice versa. We have seen children brought up very well but become something else just as children who without any responsible parental upbringing turn out great.
May Allah make it easy for every parent and may our children become as responsible as we strive to want them to be.
Writer: Adizah Kuburah Braimah
Kuburah Diamonds
kuburahdiamonds.blogspot.com
Reference; AbdulRahman Mahdi, 2006 IslamReligion.com
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